Drama. Without question, this one word has come to mean so much in the social realm, from that thing that so terribly affects young ladiy's and theatre majors to the poorly scripted action dramas that have saturated TV in the past few years. My interest here is no so much how it comes up or ways around it, but I am extremely interested at the function it serves, in both society and our psyche.
I'm beginning to think that drama is a necessarry part of the human condition. As I woke up this morning, I notived that something was differnt. Sure, part of it was the half pound of phlegm (oh the joys of being a quitter), but there was something else, something missing. As my eyes managed to focus, I looked around the room and saw the same sights I always did, wanted the same things (H20 & a shower)...
Actually, I didn't. There was something I woke up missing, and with it the normal panic left also. I'm not sure what this is a function of, though I know what it is about, and to be honest I was not sorry to see it go. What was it I let go you ask? A habit, a habit that has been going on for the last year and a half: a habit that has kept me awake at night and woke me up early in the morning, a thought process that has ruled my actions and dictated my desires, morbitity disguised as healthy thoughts. I'll leave out the details, but those who know me well, if you can't hammer down what it is then give me call, we need to seriously catch up.
So coming from this new, more spacious place I couln't help but think what function this particular habit served in my life (and by comparison the lives of others), and I unearthed some bitter truth. That being the fact that in our little psychoses we manage to lock up all of our insecurities and fears (we all have them, yes, even me). It is in these feelings that we hide our own impending senility, all the things that we are not yet claim to be. Thus my little habit was allowing me to ignore some lesser problems with my self and my place in it in order to carry on. Kinda like drinking some unicorn blood, survival over health: gets the job done, but not well.
Only then was I able to think of the drama of others. The next time someone spreads gossip, slanders another; the next time you think poorly of another person or pick up a 'dramtic habit' try to really take look at the man behind the curtain. Chances are that the problem lies with no one but yourself.
The necessity of drama then, comes with the quest for meaning. We all need something to make our day worth while, and what is worth while becomes no small bit more obscure by feelings and desires. This obscurity is where drama arises from. If we cannot find a satisfying reason to drive our day, then we will make one up. Being a less than clever race and due to the way our brain operates the next natural assumption is to blame the outside world. Typically the most convienent and available outlet. For example, during my illustrious college career I have been linked with many different people in various capacities, and when it comes to the ladies well, we had our interactions. The last couple years however, noticed something strange: I would be linked to people that I never even really conversated with, let alone thought about turning my sights on. Is this a complement? Not the way people bandied it about. So what was actually goin on? Scorned and embittered people spreading rumor because of some grudge that other folks had; perhaps it was a lack of other material to talk about perhaps I had a secret admirer, perhaps I had it coming. Whatever the case, those keeping the rumor mill a-spin got what they wanted, and so long as someone comes out feeling better about themselves I guess there wasn't much harm.
Sounds like a silly conclusion? No way! Let people have their drama. I say enjoy it. If you would really like to create self-fullfilling profesies in which you triumph over other people because you think you have what they don't, fine. If you would like to ignore the fact that the world contains in it an infinitity of possibilities in order to harp upon one thing that someone has done that doesn't go swimmingly with your own ontology, fine. If you would like to let what you say be the deciding factor in your life contra what you do and create, fine. If you would like to believe that you are better than your peers, fine. If you want your immediate addition to the world to be a negative one in which someone must lose in order for you to gain, I say fine.
But I'm out. I'm done with thinking about other people in my decisions. This is not to say I'm being selfish for a little while, but I see now that I have made some poor choices insofar as the people whose welfare I put above mine. For that is where my drama sprang from, so I gotta be the one to get off the coaster. Though I will say this: if you have a problem with other people, other genders, ethnicities, whatever, you've got more serious issues that you need to work out with yourself first.
But enough soapboxing. I think that drama as we defined it is an essential product of our current culture, something to help fill the void between what media tells us and how our lives are really run. It is a crude form of short term therapy, and besides it's what the cool kids do these days. It is a cheap conversation starter among other things, and the perfect way to feel superior even on a very bad day. You know who you are, so keep it up: and don't blame me when you wake up lonely at 50: you're doing good now, and that's all that matters.
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