The idea of artificial life has always intrigued me. From the early cognitive discussions of Turing and his test for an acceptable artificial mind through the seminal work of Dennet (read Brainchildren, crazy stuff) to Searle’s Chinese Room Problem – I’ve been there, all because of a fascination with the power of human mind, and our attempts to essentially “create” a working mind from circuits and electricity which comes from the wall, and not the workings of our neurons and cells.
However, I’ve as of late become aware of a more insidious form of artificial life, which after further review I will call the ‘ersatz existence’. This is not, as the name might imply, a new type of synthetic and potentially inferior intelligence. Well perhaps in a way, but that hopefully will become clear later on, and I’ll leave you, dear reader, to draw your own conclusions. Instead, I use it to refer to a life that is lived one or more degrees away from our senses: removed from the constant, unstoppable flow of experience and all that it holds
How might one get away from his/her own senses? There are myriad ways to it: all essentially based in the idea of living in fantasy. There are different degrees of participation in this: from someone who holds dear an axiom which represents the world as it should be rather than how it is (of the type “if I just behave this way he/she will see all that I am” or “as soon as [thing x] happens I’ll be complete/feel better, whatever) to the more obvious version of those who spend a disproportional amount of time playing the Sims, fixing their Facebook profile or making sure their Myspace is ‘just right’: both of these individuals believe in a fantasy that does not represent and in a very real way escapes the reality in which they live, breathe, love (hopefully), and grow. That’s not to say that thinking in how the world should be (in fact, that is the only way in which progress is made), or by spending time in the cyber space working on your little segment of the web: hell, I am as guilty as most on both of those -- the more important thing is the escapist mentality that drives the choice of activities.
The escapist mentality can itself take many forms: from the druggies who get high to forget their troubles to the pill poppers who just need to smooth themselves out, to the Myspace junkies who have decided that a cyber reality is an alternative as good or better to the world outside, to all the various subtle variations in between. The common thread is the idea of diversion until things improve (After this bender I’ll get my life together; I can make him/her love me if I try a little harder; etc.), that there is some thing (activity, person, job, timeframe) that will fill the gaps in the ersatz existence, something external that will fill the holes inside.
Apologies for the furious dead horse beatings, but as of late I have found myself in need of a decision. I have quite a few friends (some quite close, some recent acquaintances) who suffer from some pretty serious ersatz behaviors: one friend spends more time on Myspace than in real conversation, a few others have some serious drug problems, two Facebook junkies who operate all communiqué through the website at the expense of a phone call, still others fill my head at every conversation with their latest quick fix for the holes they have dug and continue to dig for themselves every day, and a couple others seem to have just given up (and by the day grow more pessimistic), who let me know that the world is an empty place devoid of care and hope and joy.
So my conundrum is as follows. I’ve been there: the idea that there is someone or something other than myself who is responsible for my happiness/despair; be it money, sex, drugs, rock and roll, a fresh start elsewhere, whatever. I’ve learned that it is only ourselves who are responsible for our feelings and perceptions, and yet to learn that fact I had to make mistakes, fail, myself. I could listen to no one until I personally understood through experience. The trouble is, I know what agony self-doubt can be, and the ersatz option is one of the three worst routes to choose. And having been there, I want to be available as a good influence and bearer of good times and affirmation to the interests, desires and needs of others: it’s just so difficult to stand by while watching those I care about drag themselves through the mud.
I guess the only thing left is to just let it go and hope for the best. The teachings of people far wiser than I could ever be often speak of the idea that leading by virtue and example are the only real ways to affect positive change in others, especially those who deeply suffer. They also say many other interesting things, but I’ll leave those for another day. Suffice to say, the most important thing I have learned in the journey so far has been the notion that all we have is this moment, so be truly happy in it, for all that it is and is not; keep that up for long enough and eventually real life will become far more appealing than any ersatz activity. That said, I’m always here to help in any way that I can; be that a conversation, a walk, a night out, or even just the knowledge that I am available. Now however, I’ve got some fresh air to breathe, so stay well, we’ll be in touch soon.
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