In the attempt to restart actually being a writer I’ve decided that it’s vitally important to put out a little something new every day. Unfortunately since I haven’t been practicing the craft thanks to a series of choices that I will inevitably consider in these pages at some point I am stuck in the period where I’m certain that everything I write is horrible and should probably be sucked down the drain of obscurity. I can also see why people get caught up in those “ I was the king in high school” stories. While in my case those halcyon years for writing came after I graduated from college, there’s no doubt that I am expecting way too much considering the majority of writing I’ve sent for the last six weeks have been mainly from templates. And the six years before that I’ve been, uh, researching. Yes, can’t figure out what I want to write about if I don’t try everything out, right? Right.
And to those growing pains I’m also victim of a mind that is being trained more and deeply in the fine art of ADD. It’s even worse since now that I have a smartphone and can get any information any time, any song at any moment and all the youtube life fails I can handle. The internet is also training our minds to only remember that which we think we cannot find which has surely devolved my mind a thousand years or so. And yet I carry on, with the assumption that that which I lost/never had can be found/restored. I’ve been writing for long enough, but other than grant writing there’s been little in the way of restoring the art expression I’ve been missing so dearly from the words I use everyday. I wasn’t paid to be interesting or concerned with the topic, I was paid to write how someone else needs me to be, not how what I would like to say. I guess that’s the part about what adversity does for us though, allows for an appreciation when we finally decide to take the freedom that we had forgotten we had.
Today was a struggle and a study in the process. There’s a fine line between associating ideas and getting farther and farther way from the goal, and there’s often little you can do about it when you’re first starting to write again. It’s a world that a writer creates when he/she puts the words to the page, and if you are a deity who hasn’t gotten the management process down it can get out of hand mighty fast. And once your ideas have gone Lord of the Flies on each other you just wait for the adults to return and wonder what happened to Piggy. Remember that everything fell apart in only six days in that novel – it happens just so fast.
On the upside, everything has to start somewhere. Please enjoy this preview of things to come:
(How to translate experience into something that people can benefit from): It’s funny that we spend our entire lives trying to be ourselves but think very little of the expression of that life. And isn’t that the question? For all that I take in, what do I want to put back out? I spend so much time trying to gather more opinions, synthesize more ideas, be more engaged but perhaps don’t consider enough that when the expression is – what am I really doing when I waste another night on the couch?. We all need to recharge, surely but we only have a limited time to affect each other and the world around us in a meaningful way – but what does that look like? I spend all day being myself, shouldn’t there be some expression that will benefit everyone else too? How to turn these compulsions into creations? How can we turn our selfish impulses to the greatest good for everyone?...
(Most problems are of our own doing): Reflecting over the past couple of years my dominant struggle is getting out of my own way. Not taking jobs that will limit my opportunities, finding the right people to grow (always surround yourself with people more talented than you are), moderation in consumables big and small, experiences that will inspire – it’s so easy to forget to listen to what you feel most alive doing by being too concerned with what you believe you should be doing…
(Why being creative is necessary, for everyone): And why is creation so important? The only thing I can refer to is the feeling The realization of how long the idea has been absent in my life. How many of us can say that we are allowed to use our full powers of hands and mind to create something that actually benefits other people while enriching ourselves? If it was the majority opinion there would be no “Working for the Weekend” by Loverboy, and I think we know how much better a reality that would be.
(What is art?): I believe it was Tom Robbins who opined in Skinny Legs and All that “Creating art is simple, you just look for something you want to see but can’t find and make it (sic). And why not make the drive for art our highest ideal? Is there anything more satisfying than bringing that change in the world that you wanted to see? If everyone addressed their interaction with the world in this way I think we might also see a lot less petty conflict, for who can worry about the unimportant when we keep in mind what is.
(Forest Rangers): Why do I keep thinking that being a Forest Ranger would be the
(I had no idea, I love to hear anything a reader would like to say) Thank you Marjorie, though it took me a year to read your comment but it’s the reason I write – so glad I can bring some depth to your day.
The biggest lesson I hope to learn in this process is to appreciate the failure as much the success. Or maybe it will be realizing that we’ve only failed if we don’t try. Or even that you can tie a balloon to failure and float it to success. Have
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