Music for the weekend/Ideas to look forward to

As more and more content goes starts popping up on this site you’ll come to see that my writing reflects my most passionate interests.  For a decade now the topics of yoga, neuroscience and psychology, music, the craft of writing, gender studies and art of living (think lifehacker on a grand scale) have provided an endless bounty of interest, and I look forward to sharing that with all of you.  I also love to discuss science, technology, nature, rhetoric and thoughtful discourse in general – basically a long way of saying that you’ll find me writing about just about anything I find distractingly interesting.  I'm also happy to try my hand at whatever a reader might like to hear some words about.

You’ll also find I have a serious love affair with the acoustic guitar (I also play the upright bass, a bit of piano and my voice isn’t too hard on the ears, but more on that another day), and thought it might be fun to share some of my favorites.  In time I will talk about my acoustic influences, but there is certainly a fair difference between who I love to listen to and who actually affects the sounds I try to make.

Note:  Some of these songs I've been listening to for years, and either don't have the words or have novels to say about each song.  I hope you enjoy them as much as I do...


Ewan Dobson - Time 2




 Led Zeppelin - Brun Yr Ar




Stefano Barone - Batman/Alexander Supertramp




Erik Mongrain




John Butler - Ocean




Phish - Bliss




Umphrey's McGee - The Pequod




Tommy Emmanuel - I Go to Rio




Tim Reynolds - You are my Sanity




Michael Hedges - Rickover's Dream




Ben Lapps - Reverie (Bonus, now featuring another of his tunes tucked inside: "Sweet Sails")



Have a great weekend everyone.

I've missed this space, can't wait to put on the addition

I remember a good friend of mine relaying a story back in 2006 he ran into a stranger who had found this blog and enjoyed my work.  He had stumbled onto it...however people found blogs back then.  I was supremely proud, and I was lucky enough to meet a couple other readers in my travels (which ALWAYS blows my mind).  As I look back on it now though, I sunk myself at that first moment of a true stranger's recognition.  Now I wonder, does my particular brand of inertia stem less from the fear that no one would pay attention and more that people actually might?

As you might expect of someone who has discovered he is a recovering perfectionist and self prescribed underachiever, I've been trying to suss out the true cause for some time.  The closest I had come previously was the thought that perhaps I was afraid of failure, but the internet and life experience has taught me that with so much idiocy and so much genius in the world any work we are brave enough to create will at worst be lost in time, but at best could impress itself upon a moment or even change someone's course, if even a little.  But if not failure, what?

When I was 16 I was a student ambassador to Australia and New Zealand. There was life and love, drunkenness and hilarity and sometimes awkward (ok, often awkward) moments way before TV made them cool.  Aside from drunkenly trying to wander into the Australian forest my only regret was that I didn't make more fearless decisions.  I might be being hard on myself,  but I still remember a journal entry from one of the 3 program leaders that I had managed to read.  I was so offended at he time, but now I realize he was absolutely right - "Ian has a great stage presence, but can actually be quite shy."

It still makes the raging extrovert in me cringe to admit that, but it was an important truth to accept about myself.  I wonder what would have happened had I addressed that earlier.  I've always felt an abundance of life, but aside from occasionally chasing a dragon or two around the forest realize that even in my dreams, I would often wake myself up well before I found out exactly how far I could go.  Which is no longer good enough.

I can only confirm we get one chance at this life, and in truth we have a finite but unknown number of minutes remaining.  The happy fact is we can spend them any way we like:  sleeping, sex, watching Twin Peaks, spending time with our loved ones, laying on the couch feeling sorry for ourselves, living without fear etc.  at any time, any moment we so choose.  It also means the more widely remembered notion that a spent minute is gone.  Regardless of perspective though, there's no minutes to spare; since time only runs in one direct (albeit at different speeds depending on the day) it's pretty safe to say that there's also no turning back.

I used to wonder if perhaps I was strange in being so interested in so much without managing to find a true passion. Now I see that I just happen to have had a few, and that means I have even fewer minutes to make any real headway into how deep the rabbit holes of my loves truly are. That's just how it is.  I can't help that I find endless joy in the things that I do, and I look forward to sharing anything and everything I am so privileged to learn.  Thus through, yoga, neuroscience, music and my every increasing experience with the writer's life, may my personal and professional adventure bring illumination, knowledge and laughter.

Salud,
IJB

Favorite line cut from the post: "I will strive to deliver insight, and stay away from self-indulgent garbage."  I hope that always to be true.

Heading discovered, straight on till morning

A couple of days ago I opened up my blog over lunch. I didn’t actually read any of the old postings, just navigated on autopilot to the compose pane and stared at the blank page.  It looked back, so blank but for the first time in a long time so eager to be filled with words.  I was surprised by the moment, especially when I looked back this morning at just how long I had been away.

December 15, 2011. Not so great.  Pretty poor for a writer actually, even if this is the section where I write for interest instead of money.  Especially because this is the place I write for interest instead of money.  I looked back through those 2011 posts and was even more disappointed, they all seem so forced, so self-righteous, so half-complete.  Then I realized that that is exactly the type of person I was…forced, self-righteous and half complete.  I’m not saying I’m any closer to where I want to but it was illuminating to see just how clearly my writing was mirroring the state of my life at that time.

And how much has changed since then.  It’s been an amazing journey in the past year and it’s only getting more exciting.  While I don’t know where it’s going to go, I know it’s never going to be dull, and hopefully everything I do will be for the benefit of others.

There’s so much left to do, and a snowy April 20^th in Minneapolis is the perfect day and place to get it all going.  I’ve been lucky enough to be profoundly reminded how much I miss my passions and am so grateful to finally have the means, wisdom, experience and motivation to make them all satisfying realities.  I can't wait to contribute in a way that's truly mine to the world that's been kind enough to keep me on it so far, and I hope that each day can bring something that promotes awakening and understanding to the giant mash that is the blanket of everything.

Check back frequently, there's so much to be done!

Arena Apothecary - Good words on good sports by a good man

In his little corner of the intertubes my good friend Travis Lund operates a bastion of sports and commentary known as the Arena Apothecary.  Some of you know him for his musical talents, but he knows sports like he hates serialism, which for the uninformed is, well, a lot.  Check him out.

NFL Playoffs: Win the coin toss and kick, kick, kick

Overtime in the NFL has always been the subject of high drama and high debate. Most of us have no trouble understanding that in a sudden death playoff the team getting the ball first has a distinct advantage. This notion is borne out by the facts: from 2000 - 2007 there were 124 overtime games in which teams who won the coin toss won the game 60% of the time (and tied once). In 37 of those contests the kicking team never actually managed an offensive possession, a disparity that rules officials attempted to adjust by amending the overtime rules for playoff games (all rules quotes taken from this link). While this new system will most likely provide the intended effect (both teams get a possession) it also simply shifts the preferred outcome of a winning the coin toss from “receive” to “kick.”

As the team receiving the kick here is one way to win and that path is simply touchdown. Return the kickoff for a touchdown? Game over. Receiving team scores a touchdown on their first offensive possession? Game over. Any other outcome means that the kicking team will get the ball back, with the added benefit of knowing exactly how many points they have to score to win/tie.

Taking directly from the NFL’s rules page on the matter, even an onside kick carries maximal benefit to the kicking team and very little penalty: “A kickoff is considered an opportunity to possess for the receiving team” so a successful onside puts the kicking team in perfect position to travel the 20-ish yards to get into field goal range (which can now be kicked for the victory). If the onside attempt fails, barring a subsequent touchdown by the receiving team (who admittedly has good field position somewhere around the opposition’s 45) an unsuccessful onside giving up only a field goal will still reward the kicking team with both the ball and the knowledge of just how many points they need to win/tie.

What does this all mean? Under the new rules it’s just not an advantage to receive the kick anymore. By moving the kickoff line up to the 35 this season the NFL has increased the number of touchbacks on kickoffs from 18.8% to 45.9%, which certainly helps to stifle the gifted return men in the NFL today (also making that game ending opening drive touchdown even more elusive). Even once the kick is received, the offense is now not only burdened with scoring a touchdown but also must protect itself from any of the myriad things that can go wrong: defensive safety? Game over. Turn the ball over? Sudden death rules, since both teams have had a chance at possession. Blocked punt or field goal? Same issue, so unless Coach is certain his offense can score a touchdown and end the affair immediately there’s simply too many ways to fail and too few ways to succeed to make that first possession worthwhile.

Are there circumstances under which a team would still want to receive? If you’re one of the teams this year with an offense as productive as the defense is porous, it’s a perfectly good strategy. Why not put your faith in your offense if you’ve evolved to “My offense is better than your defense” mentality of say the Packers, Giants, Saints or Patriots. Speaking as a Giants fan I would much rather give Eli his chance to march down the field than hope our 7th and 8th string players in the secondary could hope to stop a playoff caliber offense from getting in the end zone.

What then is to be done? The new overtime rules should do what they set out to do, that is give both teams a chance a possession, but at what cost? There should be some sort of advantage from winning the coin flip, just not as large and advantage as the previous system did confer (and the new one will, wait and see). I am big fan of the sudden death format, if for no other reason the opening possession is now as much a “Don’t %#$@ it up” possession rather than a “Let’s end this thing” type of drive.

My solution? Return to the sudden death format, move the kickoff to the kicking team’s 45 and shorten the ball’s distance to go before it can be recovered by the offense to 5 yards. Should the kicking team decide to actually kick the ball away, moving the spot of the kick farther up the field will further increase the number the touchbacks (which should decrease the number of opening possession scoring drives which then provide more opportunity for both teams to get the football.) Decreasing the number of yards the ball has to travel would create an create something akin to a line out in Rugby. Given that the kicking team would know the play they wish to run and the accuracy of onside kickers, amending the distance to 5 years will give the kicking team some serious incentive to refine set onside pieces. While of course just conjecture, I would foam at the mouth a little to see a “my hands team versus your hands team” situation.

I realize that in this plan the major advantage toward overtime victory could come from a high drama play in the middle of field, but I would much rather confer such advantage that way than from the randomness of coin toss. By giving coaches the option of high risk/high reward play or a more conservative approach we enable coaches to plan overtime strategy on how their team is doing in that game (momentum, player health, etc.) by providing another option in strategy. Plus, could there be a more exciting way to kick off? Well, perhaps an Aussie Rules style Centre Bounce, but one step at a time. As an added bonus it would certainly increase the utility of a versatile kicker who may be needed as much for touch as leg strength. One of the reasons the NFL hasn’t done away with kick offs entirely is the possibility of the onside (and a great return now and again) so why not incentivize that option?

In any case we won’t know how the proposed rule changes effect the outcome of a game until, well, the rule changes actually effect the outcome of a game. I look forward to seeing which coaches agree with my assessment and which don’t, and if any of the stats we currently use for discussions like this will be relevant in a few years as the NFL fully transitions to a passer’s game. There will most certainly be analyst bedlam when we start to get some data on the new OT format, and I’m looking forward to hopefully getting some validation on these thoughts in the process. In any case look forward to seeing how the game evolves in the future in response to the rule and strategy changes of the game now; just as the creation of rules protecting quarterbacks and wide outs have ushered in a new aerial era of football I look forward to seeing just how the new overtime rules will affect strategy and outcome in these new and uncharted waters.

The many faces of football

It’s easy believe that the life of a football fan is a life of knuckle dragging, beer swilling, Sunday wasting misogynist who has nothing better to do than loudly yell at a flickering box that cannot talk back. It’s even easier to think of football as a game for the bloodthirsty, the outlet of the unsophisticated. I cannot speak for the fans that might fit that bill and the game apparently is having trouble speaking for itself but every do often I take stab at explaining just why the sport manages to hold such sway in on my Sundays. And Mondays. And Thursdays starting around Thanksgiving. And Saturdays after the college football season ends. After fruitlessly trying to come up with THE reason there’s only one explanation left – the true joy rests in the fact that the game is so multifaceted, if you're interested in anything there's a good chance you will find something you enjoy.

I thought of it as Church, listening to the color commentators as preachers, fans as rabid as the most devoted follower, whipped into frenzy by anticipation of their team getting their three hours to shine. The faithful pack into the stands as parishioners into the pews to get close to the action, as close to the spectacle as possible paying all they can for the opportunity and to support their love. In each the devotion can spill over to violence and hatred, but to the true practitioner there is only appreciation and amazement at what we are lucky enough to have been given.

I thought of it as theatre. Each quarter as an act, each drive an opening and falling of the curtain, each touchdown dance a spectacle grown from the strutting and fretting of a player’s hour on the stage. The head coach the director, the coordinators the choreographers. A play performed once a week but practiced daily, the script giving way to ad libbing and improv as things go wrong on the stage. We travel to the theaters of sport, gather in masse to see the spectacle then critique the performance compared to how we’ve seen the show go other times.
I thought of it as a soap opera. Anyone who likes characters falling down elevator shafts will simply love the NFL. Between injuries, fines, getting cut suspended or benched, the drama is ideally theatrical but often the story lines are quite trashy. Teams illegally filming other teams, players legally changing their given names to fit their nicknames (for jersey sales), players getting cut and rehired six times in a season, players resurrecting careers from the dead, the list can go on and on. Besides, while the players change constantly (the average NFL career is three years) while the game stays basically the same, how is that not the essence of soap?

I thought about it as war. If you don’t know why one can be seen like the other you are probably sleeping or have never actually watched football. The generals giving tactics to their soldiers who execute the commands of general and adjusting strategy as necessary for victory...I rest my case.

I thought of it as art. In the same way that an artist carefully chooses elements for his/her work (composition, contrast, perspective etc.) the coach will choose the play (based on down, distance, score and time remaining); the success of that choice will dictate future decisions about the overall work (the outcome). A well executed play certainly is pretty as a picture, but instead of color and contrast it can be seen in design and execution. I see it in the subtle adjustment of a receiver route to find the hole in the zone defense, the timing and connection of a quarterback and his wideout on a back shoulder three step drop, the guard who pulls to open a hole in the B gap. Like the point and beauty in any art, we cannot see it unless we know how to look, so to confirm this check your preconceived notions at the door, grab a knowledgeable friend who loves to answer questions and watch a game, you’ll thank me.

Thanks to fantasy football, I can even play my own game on top of and made from the games each week. How metta. A reason to learn every name on every team, care about every game each week. Since betting on fantasy football is illegal in my area will of I course merely mention how fun it would be to have the added motivation of having your own cash dollars riding on such weekly battles. Fantasy also helps salve the fact that each year: only one team can win the Super Bowl, only about five have a chance to win it and everyone else is just trying to keep their jobs and not get embarrassed.

I marvel at people doing things that I simply can’t; NFL players get hit for a living by those paid to be the biggest, fastest and strongest people on the planet. I’ve also considered what my life would have been as a pro athlete many times (talent not withstanding) and have decided that I could certainly deal with the pro soccer, baseball or golf lifestyles. Football though is beyond me; I simply can’t fathom getting both feet in bounds knowing I’m going to get clobbered by someone running full speed. I’m not designed to jump on a fumble when 1,200 pounds of person will immediately follow, trying anything and everything to wrestle the ball away. I can’t understand what it would be like to know I was shortening my life span and risking both my physical and mental health on every play. The average career of an NFL player is three years and the average lifespan is in the 50s: however much those athletes get paid is appropriate.

The players also toil under far greater uncertainty than other professions. Other than signing bonuses, guaranteed money in a contract and small injury provision a weekly paycheck is anything but guaranteed. On my own dear Giants middle linebacker Chase Blackburn was unsigned until two weeks ago, staying in game shape just in case a team called. Thanks to the unfortunate series of events that is inevitable as the season progresses, he received that call, he suited up and just yesterday intercepted a pass in front of almost 83,000 people. Football contracts aren’t guaranteed like other sports (especially baseball, now that’s the life), so each week you risk your future for the opportunity to continue to risk your future – how can one not appreciate the love and drive that these players have for the game?

Most of all though when you’re engaged in the game, football is makes a strong analogy to life. Psychologically it’s not the Team that wins, we win (if our team loses we say “they” lost, but that’s for another day). It’s more than a series of large people struggling to gain a few feet at a time. No, it’s a microcosm of life, the struggle to overcome our obstacles and deficiencies in spite of the external forces attempting to stop our progress. By playing only once a week, every Sunday is a major opportunity (not unlike that big promotion or meeting a new love)- every loss is a wasted opportunity from which it become harder and harder to recover. Just as the quarterback needs his protection and his outlets to successfully acquire the ground he needs so too do we need the same kinds of support to be successful. In a support system (our blockers) of people who can help us advance quickly (wide receivers) and in a slower more plodding style (the running backs). We also require a defense savvy to the attacks of others to protect ourselves from advances into our territory, attempting to impose their will against ours, to attain what we need to succeed (points). We blow obvious chances, pull rabbits out of hats (look up “The Helmet Catch”), try gimmicks that sometimes work and on a long enough timeline the most talented will frequently, but not always succeed.

Is the game perfect? Of course not: there are too many breaks in the action (TV Timeouts make me want to throw furniture), it certainly does glorify violence (also part of the appeal, what a double edge to the sword) and the commercials make us all a little worse than we were before (I can’t unsee the Man Up commercials). I sometimes I feel funny knowing that wealthy white owners run teams of predominately African American players (which is more reflective of unfortunate trends in larger society, just happens to be mirrored here two) who are treated like thoroughbreds (I’ve heard more than a few players be called “studs” on ESPN, just noticing) and it can be used as a springboard to propagate mindless base consumerism. This is all true, but then again a book about a whiny teenage inspired the death of John Lennon and shoot Ronald Reagan – it’s not it’s not the experience that’s the issue, but the consumer.

So try a few hours on the couch this Sunday. Whether you enjoy theory and strategy, mindless entertainment, theatre or soap you might just find what you need. Bring a book, magazine or your laptop to pass the commercial time (I also recommend the mute button, lovely feature) and see if you won’t thank yourself for the time well spent. Happy watching.

Habits, where we came from and where we're going.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about my habitual behaviors. Perhaps it’s sitting on the cusp of the wrong side of 30, maybe it’s the continuing glut of neuroscience literature to read, it could even just be a side effect of considering exactly what I want the rest of my life to look like; in any event the idea of the function and features of our habits has been in the forefront of my mind. Both good and bad, I am who I am because of and despite my habits. Some I would certainly like to change (I am excellent at sinking many of the opportunities I create, cannot seem to help it) and some I would certainly like to reinforce (I love feeding my habit of being active) but in either case it’s definitely worth a look as to what our patterned behavior actually is.

The habits we dislike may be considered our flaws, but they do not stem from some inherent weakness. Evolution necessarily shaped our minds to function on autopilot for as many operations as possible, programmed for basic survival and the opportunity to flourish. It makes perfect evolutionary sense for our ancestors to voraciously feast on anything available – where and when would the next meal be? The same goes with all of our animal habits of consumption be they drugs, sex, relationships, listening to pop music, collecting shoes, whatever: if you’re unsure when the next drought or saber toothed thing might come for you of course you’ll want to get while the getting is good.

The scarcity argument aside, remember just how automatic our ancestors were. Unless you’re in the creationist camp you probably believe that we evolved our mental abilities over thousands of years. While there are different theories of the evolution of our consciousness, it seems most reasonable that we ever so slowly gained some sort of independence from our automatic functioning and responses. As mentioned in yesterday’s post we didn’t just wake up with our full complement of cognitive powers – more likely we developed conscious access to ourselves on a strictly need-it-to-survive basis.

Further, just because we developed the potential to overcome our basic responses we still have to understand how fragile our store of willpower actually is. The idea may be a bit confusing but consider what happens the minute we’re compromised in any way (think hungry, angry, lonely, tired). Our lizard brains take right back over – how many diets have fallen to the stress of the holidays? How many bad relationships have been re-consummated when we’re not at 100%? Why do you think a bad day drives many people to the bar? The wash of chemicals we get from these behaviors on some level reinforces our most primal instincts for comfort and satiety.
The only difference now is that it isn’t the loss of half our tribe or threat of mammoth stampede that drives us, but our modern society. Between the business world wanting us uncomfortable (because consumers don’t consume when they are happy) and modern media telling us we aren’t beautiful or rich enough (because we aren’t like who we see, hear about etc.), we’re always in a somewhat compromised state.

There’s also the trouble of sophistication – at basic we do fit the hedonist principle of seeking pleasure and avoiding pain. While we have as a race developed some additional powers of discernment we still do live by the maxim of getting the most of what we like and avoid as much of what we don’t as possible. It’s easy to want to disagree, it can be argued that even altruism can be considered part of this principle – we help other people at the expense of ourselves because it brings us more pleasure than the alternative of not providing altruistic service. We simply haven’t evolved enough to be able to push our higher values into our animal wiring.

It doesn’t seem so confusing then that we struggle with changing our habitual behavior; even in our best case scenario the fight is not only with our internal wiring but the external forces of society. The next time you’re ready to get down on yourself or someone else for what they are or are not able to change (or just how they are), it’s important to remember what we as humans in modern society are still ill equipped to navigate our situation. We’re wired to overdo it (scarcity principle) on a very basic system of needs (pleasure v. pain) with a consciousness that requires optimal conditions to transcend such predispositions (which is made even more difficult by continual comparison to some fantastical state of existence which no one being can hope to achieve). Where our peculiar habits come from is a topic for another day, but remember when you’re struggling to change yourself you’re fighting against not only your own lizard self but a world that often wishes to play on that that primal response for financial or personal gain. We are way more imperfect than we often like to think, so cut yourself or your loved one a break, we are truly doing the best we can with the little that we’re given.